Feb 2, 2016


There were so many things
I wanted to show you
So many places
I wanted to us to travel
So many times
I didn’t get to pass
I wanted to be a jazz lounge singer
Bright and shiny up on stage
Wearing beautiful gowns
My voice strong coffee
Creamy in those quiet dark twilights
Longing for all eyes on me
I wanted to learn how to roller skate
Play on more teams
Win ugly trophies
Wear my jerseys to bed
To relive my glory days in dreams
Of days gone by
I wanted to tell you that I read The Great Gatsby
Get your opinion of me having read it
Not your opinion of it
Because I know you never read some shit like that
I wanted to introduce you to boyfriends
Get your opinion of each of them
Because you know I’m really shitty at
Letting men get to me
And then break me
I wanted to smoke pot with you
Exhale clouds under the stars
That you sleep in now
I wanted you to know that we are not okay
That it gets worse
Day by day
Made even more so because
You aren’t here to be strong for us
When we can’t be strong anymore
I wanted to be strong
For my brothers
But I am finding
That starry sleep
More enticing
Than wanting