i will forget

i will forget whatever it is that spilled from the lips of the fool that broke me into pieces.
i will collect them, and carry them with me in hopes that one day, this world will be what i need, and i'll be able to put them together again.
i'll hope that one day, i'll be able to truly see what's inside of me, and feel okay with that.
i need a home, too.
and everywhere i look...i can't find it.
it's hard to find a home inside the heart of someone who's not on your side...but it's not even about sides.
my side is the only one that matters.
i'm fearing the fall, so i'm not standing close to edges, and i'm not experiencing life as i need it to be felt.
i'm hoping that i find a home, and an honest love when i leave.
love of myself.
love for others.love.
just love.

because i hate myself tonight.

and i'm hoping with all my heart that what i'm looking for is as easy as getting there.