this is how i work up a sweat

remember driving along the freeway
and the clouds were fat and perky
and it was as though each of us
really did see a different rainbow

just enough of a drizzle to
make this desert crust
smell of our broken ancestors
and their somber lonely dust

for when does a girl
truly become a woman
a woman of nature
a woman of her nature
a woman who can't seem to control
her nature?

the sun shined down upon
this sinkhole with heavenly
righteous gazes
masking the dirt
with a film of glory and
beauty
that up until that very moment
i had yet to see

this place is heaven
a stippled land of
brown and beige
and
everything i had never dreamed
i always wanted

Drunk In Public

Every Wednesday
And occasional Tuesday night
Same old story
Different pint

Too many Valium that I thought would make my woes dissipate

Once a month...Bloody Mary...lin?

Too many glasses of cheap wine to make me less tense

I grew up in a cornfield...but not on Boone's Farm

Too many beers because I want...so badly to forget...that you forget me

Jose, Jack, and Jim would have called

Too many beers because I'd rather not drink at home

God forbid my roommates see...I'm just as drunk as them...upset about love that's given up

Let's take a roadtrip to Newcastle

Too many shots of things I've never tasted
Why not?
That's the quickest way to get wasted

Let's go to Long Island and get and iced tea

Too much to drink because you never called and I had nothing better to do than sit in a bar

I placed 5th in a poetry slam and all i got was Pabst Blue Ribbon

Gulp it faster...maybe then, he'll call

I even wore my pretty underwear so you could watch my Heine

Another drink because he kisses you softer and more sweet than anyone
But he's not kissing you tonight

Let's go to Venice Beach and ride the waves with a Surfer on Acid

Another sip because you're ashamed of yourself
For waiting by a phone you know will not be ringing

Let's go to Cheers, and get our nipples buttered?

Another drink because even if he calls, you won't know what the fuck to say

Let's get the tools and make another screwdriver

Another drink because you'll sleep alone again and malt liquor keeps you warm at night

Let's take one more drink because you don't have the balls to call and say

"HEY, I DON'T NEED THIS BULLSHIT!"

Instead you drink
Until you sleep
And then you wake
No missed calls
And a fucking headache

Who wants to see a Tequila Sunrise anyway?

Asleep in Silicone Valley

high heels little girl
make your legs long and thin
red rouge little girl
cheeks like tart apples
pink polish little girl
fingers like the lashes
fake lashes
butterfly kisses with fake lashes before you fuck me
because my ass looks SO good in heels
who can resist a 14 year old in booty shorts with a tank top
on that looks like a neglige?
JUICY!!!
Peaches
her name was Peaches and she tasted like god
skin-microdermabrased
feet-dead skin grated off by an asian
hands-naked is not an option
yards of fake hair for you to pull as i scream "MORE MORE MORE!"
i hang up the phone quickly, so as not to give you time to say
"I LOVE YOU"
"you should touch her like her father did"
sound advice from those who take too many drugs to be sound and those unafraid of the results of their advice
is plastic surgery available to those with a broken heart?
reconstructive surgery?
commiserate because i have courage which eludes this contradiction
there will never bea better time to tell your family, friends, and significant others, that you love them
because they may lose life or limb, trying to be something they are not
trying to make others believe they aren't themselves, but someone you've come to immortalize
we can't stand up to that
i can't be gisele or pamela or even the jessicas
i come closer to jessica tandy
i'm a rugged child growing up into a rugged woman
but finally comfortable
wearing that pattern proudly
and not needing to hide behind a face and body
that isn't mine

victorian era marilyn

victorian era marilyn...
how cute.
how strange.
how wicked.
don't burn me at the stake.
i'll fucking cut your throat and hunt down your lover.
yes, they didn't even know it was coming.