If You Give A Mouse A Cookie

i haven't really been in much of a "writing mood" lately...and to be honest...it's killing me...because i have so much to say...

i want to tell the man i love that he means the goddamn world to me...that i've never felt so much love in all my life...that i haven't been this carefree and happy since i was a child...and not even then, really...that i'm the lucky one...

i want to tell my mother the secrets within my heart...i want to share things with her that can't be shared with those who still are breathing...i want her to share in the happiness i've found, and am still finding...

i want to fill the world with the song of my words...and i want people to listen to what i have to say...and not just wait for their turn to speak...

i want the forgiveness to keep coming...i want the apologies i deserve...and i want you all to know that i'm sorry, too...

i want the kind of poetry in my life that used to keep me up at night...ages ago...when we were real poets...fuck, yeah!...and the meaning was deeper than trying to find something to read for the sake of reading...when performance didn't matter because the words meant something different to everyone...and we were all beautiful because we all...had something to say...

i want my friends to know that i haven't abandoned them...i've been right here, the whole time...it just seems like no one is needing me anymore...

i want the joy of words back in my life...

i want the poets hiding in las vegas to come out of their caves and make me feel real again...

because isn't that all we need?

i need so badly to hear your story...to feel your words wrapped round me like a blanket...to comfort and intrigue me...to help me find my voice that i fear i may be losing to the apathy of the city...

this shouldn't be a cry for help...

this should be a wake up call to those sleeping without dreams...