Jun 10, 2008

Solace

atheism, because i'm starting to realize that god never really spoke clearly to me...
hell, never really spoke to me at all...

and jesus is about as imaginary as my imaginary friend, davey, was when i was three years old...

we're fighting the wars of our ancestors and we're forgetting everything our mother's told us...
we are stagnating in our own filthy bathwater...

give us an illusion to help us believe that we are clean...

these oversung lullabies aren't helping anymore...
and humpty dumpty is too busy smoking dope to show me how to put myself back together again...

but i was not raised to put my money on faith alone...

i believe in the men who speak of christianity...
the same men who lie, cheat, steal, kill, and covet their own neighbors' wives...

if god were real, he'd have no agenda...comfort.
that's all the reason i can think of.

last night i dreampt of driving up a waterfall, through the city of zombies of those i used to know, and there, inside a watery tomb, sat gabriel, plump with bourbon, in the form of an ex boyfriend...he said "marilyn, stay with us...it's neither heaven, nor hell...but there's bourbon, and you have to stay with us"...i screamed "no, no, no"...and then i woke up...

i'm not sure what to be more disturbed by...driving up a waterfall, or gabriel, in the form of an ex boyfriend, urging me to stay in zombieland...

i guess that's what i get for trying to figure out religion...

i sleep with the snakes...and they don't urge me to eat anything...

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